Jane, thirtysomething ex-librarian, talking to Eric, a young man she has taken hostage, in BOOKENDS.

(Warning: Using this monologue without permission is illegal, as is reproducing it on a website or in print in any way.)

JANE
I don't have a watch. I feel so naked. Educated people wear watches, but—can you believe this?—I was mugged on my way here. In the middle of a subway car. In broad daylight. The man took my watch. He had no idea I was wearing enough explosives to blow up the entire subway system, and I didn't think it was fair to penalize him for something he couldn't possibly have known.
(beat)
I don't want to say that people are cowardly, but no one came to my aid. It was very disappointing.
(beat)
The mugger ran out of the train and was immediately grabbed by three beefy men, who raped him with—I can't swear by it because I was wearing my reading glasses at the time—but it looked like a fish spoon . . . all this in plain view before the train even left the station.
(beat)
Perhaps it was retribution and I was receiving a clear message that what happened to me mattered. Something was out there being punitive, and if this man mugged me, at least he'd be made to pay for it. But I couldn't help thinking that the punishment was out of line with the crime. It made me wonder if he was being punished for what he'd done to me in the subway car, or whether there was a whole string of me's. Maybe I didn't matter, because how many times can you be raped with a fish spoon anyway, and maybe other people were waiting on this guy with the kind of crimes that required a fish spoon, and my mugging couldn't have contributed anything over and above that. Are you hungry?
(beat)
All that talk about the fish spoon made me realize I'm starving.